and found Charles laying on the sofa, covered in dogs, with his little blanket on him. Flu.

Low grade temp and achey. He doesn't lay down like that unless he is truly not feeling well. Fortunately, I am feeling quite well today, so it looks like I get to play Nurse Jeff. It's been so long, I've forgotten where I left my white uniform, pointy hat, and sensible white shoes. That's OK, though, because I doubt that the uniform still fits.

This is the first year that he hasn't been able to get his inoculation. I got mine at dialysis.

He was playing with the rug rats on Thanksgiving, which I was not, so that puts the probable inception of his illness just about 48 hours before he actually got sick. This just further confirms my theories about little children being tiny hothouses of disease. Even if they don't get sick themselves, I am convinced they are perpetually packing.

I cashed in on the temporary spurt of energy and gave the stove a thorough cleaning. Now I'm going to make turkey salad for sandwiches. Who knows if he will want any - probably not, just some chicken noodle soup - but I will.

As usual, I'm just assuming that I won't get whatever he's sick with. That always works so well.

*walks off laughing*

www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34174711/ns/local_news-los_angeles_ca/

Are you kidding me?

Because I am a great big dope, I couldn't even get my own age right on that last meme. For the record, I am 56, not 57.

Thanks to my still-mentally-functioning oldest sister, teachergail , for pointing this out to her disturbingly fuzzy-minded little brother.

Thanksgiving

Gratitude’s a funny thing for
someone who's always felt…
Entitled
Sadly, that’s the word
Entitled
to a life of
spectacular dimensions

It’s tough to feel
grateful for the
little things
when you think the
big things
have slipped through
your fingers

I think now maybe
it’s all a matter of
perspective as I
look back
look now
look forward

In looking the
balance is revealed

The big
becomes small
The small
becomes big

And the mind and the heart
become equal in size

The right size

Just big enough
for gratitude

There was lots of talk today at dialysis about eating too much, gaining weight, etc. over the holidays. My doctor commented last year that she thinks that I am the only one who LOSES weight over the holidays.

I think that there are a couple of reasons for this. Being diabetic, holiday food (as much as I love it) is not my friend. So, I think that I might tend to overcompensate by eating even less food than I normally do (and I really don't eat all that much regularly.) Don't get me wrong, some pumpkin pie WILL be consumed, but I will probably compensate by eating less of everything else. I've had to do this for so long that I don't really think much about it.

Another thing is, I just CAN'T STAND the feeling of being really full or over-full anymore. When I was younger, well that was a different story, but now stuffing myself just makes me feel absolutely miserable.

But to get to my title question...

I'm cooking away in the kitchen, and Charles asks me if I want him to just go to the store and pick up stuff for sandwiches for dinner tonight. I just about retched. When I'm surrounded by cooking smells during one of my marathon sessions, often the LAST thing I want to do is eat. I can't tell you how many times I've fixed a fancy multi-course dinner, only to have little or no desire to actually eat it. I'll pick while Charles snarfs away contentedly (and goes back for seconds.)

The interesting thing about this is that I REALLY, REALLY LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE (good) FOOD!!!!!! (especially sweets and desserts)

As I've mentioned before, I'm feeling especially *meh* about the holiday season this year. That might have something to do with this, because food is so heavily tied into this season.

Oh well. Whatever keeps me doing what I'm supposed to do.

*meh*

Turkey thawed
Stuffing made
Pumpkin pies ready for oven baking cooling
Cranberry-orange relish cooking cooling
Fixin's for real whipped cream chilling...

All on a dialysis day!

*does Rocky top-of-the-steps triumphal dance (without the running, climbing, and dancing)*

*thud*

For the Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's weeks, they change schedules at dialysis to allow for the holidays. Instead of Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, I go on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. Yawn. Doesn't make a whole lot of difference.

I am crossing the finish line on the commissioned piece, and am at one of the points I hate: little details. Anyway, I should have some sort of demo version, both audio and printed, pretty soon. I will then arrange a hearing/viewing with some key Cantate folks, and get some feedback. Not advice. No one gets to advise. At least no one in that assemblage.

Since it's coming together so quickly (thank God!) I am seriously considering throwing in another piece, now that I finally feel like writing music again (it's been a while.) Something completely different. We'll see.

When I have the audio for the new piece roughly where I'd like it, I will post a download. Almost there. I think. Well, maybe I might voice that chord a little differently...

Multi-colored,
white or twinkly,
hung in bunches,
draped in trees

Elegantly
placed, or sprinkly,
string them up, just -
later, please

The prompt is "noise".







the crystalline absence
the ceasing of noise
the space between sounds
when all
senses stand tiptoe

it surely can’t last long
but please for just now
let me
bathe in the pure clear blue
nothing of silence

I have had a commission looming over me for many, many months from the Cantate Singers for a new choral work of my choice, to be premiered on the Spring 2010 concert in April.

Uncharacteristically, for me, I have been unable to even start on the darn thing, and I was starting to get a bit nervous. April concert meant the piece needed to ready for February rehearsal start date. Ack!

Usually I would be off and running almost immediately, but no concrete ideas were coming. The problem with a commission born of the commissioner's love for an earlier piece you have written is this: what they REALLY want is a piece that is going to give them all the same warm and fuzzies that the original one did. In other words, the SAME piece, but different.

In semi-desperation, a week or so ago I decided to return to a similar source of the text for my other anthem, the Presbyterian Hymnal. This time I turned to the Mennonite Hymnal and started thumbing through, looking only at texts. I was reading the text of "My life flows on", and found the tell-tale sign happening: music attaching itself to those words.

I had my text. Interestingly, the last words of the text refrain are "how can I keep from singing?"

I had the title for my anthem.

I have been working - on and off - almost continuously since. In the morning, in the middle of the night, into the night...

A week later I have an essentially finished piece, and a darn good one IMHO. About six minutes long, SATB chorus and piano four-hands (we will have a truly excellent two-piano duo involved with this concert.)

Whew!

All the above is in way of an explanation, not excuse, for my extreme lack of follow-through on comments. I have been keeping up on every body, but I truly have been devoting every spare minute to getting this thing down on paper.

moon_chylde

A-Age: 57

B-Bed Size: Main bed - Queen. In my little room - twin

C-Chore you hate: Dusting.

D-Dogs name: Winston, Winnifred, William.

E-Essential start your day: Check out LJ and email.

F-Favorite color: The purple of a deep amethyst

G-Gold or Silver: Gold

H-Height: 6'1''

I-Instruments you play: Clarinet, recorder

J-Job Title: Dad

K-Kids: None

L-Living arrangements: Married

M-Mom's name: Marilyn

N-Nickname: Josh (sister, Elizabeth) Deece (dad)

O-Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Tonsilectomy, Congestive heart failure, kidney failure

P-Pet Peeve: willful ignorance

Q-Quote: "Never teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of time, and it annoys the pig."

R-Right or Left handed: Right.

S-Siblings: Two older sisters

T-Time you wake up: hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

U-Underwear: Jockey Tall undershirt, white cotton briefs

V-Vegetable you dislike: Peas

W-Ways you run late: I am very punctual

X-X-rays you've had: lots

Y-Yummy food you make: Almost anything. I am a very good cook.

Z-Zoo favorite: Most humane and innovative - San Diego Zoo.

What you don’t see

In the store,
perhaps to buy a
loaf of bread, a
pint of milk, or

maybe just to
pick the card you’re
holding in
the air. The

one that caught your
eye, the artwork
pleasing and the
message apt, the

one, from all the
many, best
equipped to show
you care

Carefully
inscribed and sealed,
addressed and stamped,
it’s on its way, you

watch it as it
disappears and
travels over
miles, but

what you never
see, my friend, is
my expression
on the day your

unexpected
thoughtfulness brings
unexpected
smiles

Mary

are revealed, one by one.

Scientists have pondered many questions over the millennia, such as: what is the fastest thing in the universe? Thankfully, I have lived long enough to have the occasional mystery revealed to me without any effort whatsoever on my part.

The fastest thing in the universe?

Winnie, upon hearing Charles pop the lid on a can of Vienna Sausages.

The prompt for today is "and then".




And then…
(or, Why I am a most unorthodox Christian)


The blood still red
upon the timbers
Tears still salty
in the eyes

The stone still firm
across the tomb
The Son of God still
sacrificed

Disciples lost in
hopeless misery
Magdalene and
Mary mourn

Before the Christ
escapes from death
The dogma is
already born

The clergy is
already lining
Colored robes form
colored lanes

The pontiffs grab
impossible finery
Fighting over
numbered names

The Word of God is
carefully chosen
Doctrine as
approved advice

And then the Christian
Church rides forth
and leaves behind
the risen Christ

Clockwork


Like a clockwork

The rotation of
the days

An evening for
every morning

So very many
Evenings

The time of
pondering

And the melancholy comes
to sit

And the melancholy comes
to chat

And the melancholy
wraps me

into itself and
holds me

Safe until the
morning comes

The morning for
every evening

Like a clockwork

of non-stop tormenting me in every possible manner - that @%$!@@%%%&%&$#$!!!!!! shrieking virus is gone!!!!!!!!

I'm not exactly sure how, but...who cares? Do you hear that? Do you??

Neither do I. :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


(I think Charles nabbed the ruby slippers)

The PAD guy is getting a little bossy, but basically the prompt is Clouds.



Clouds

Even when they’re
piled sky high with
menace, wrathful
purpose meant, the

wonders that are
Nimbus, Cirrus,
Cumulus, or
Stratus bend my

gaze with wraithlike
hands to skyward
musings, fixed in
rapt intent on

super human
shapings, shifting
randomly, though
purpose sent

Whupped. Whupped. Whupped. *thud*

Tomorrow (I hope): Details on the concert.
Responses to seriously backed up comments.

Wednesday (maybe. I'll try): Pictures from the wedding 13 years ago.

*Do* try to contain yourselves. *snort*

*thud*

November 16, 1996

Loved ones gathered
Candles flickered
Songs with harp
soprano sung

Sprays of flowers
autumned colored
leapt from vases
Garlands strung

You and I, the
time arrived, so
shy you were, all
nervous squirm

Music started
You were scared, I
took your hand and
held it firm

Step by step the
walk began we’ve
walked to where we
are from then

Childhood dream, your
wedding day, my
love

I’d do it
all again